Practically Magic

Practical Magic is one of my favorite movies of all time. It's starting to date now, but I still love it. As I was getting ready to make this post... I started to think about things that make me dizzy, how I've felt confused and off balance. And this quote from the movie came to mind.

Gillian Owens: You ever put your arms out and spin really, really fast?
Antonia Owens: She does it all the time.
Gillian Owens: She does? Well, that’s what love is like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you’re not careful, if you don’t keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can’t see what’s happening to the people around you. You can’t see that you’re about to fall.

When I came back to sl, I thought I knew what I wanted out of being here, and who I wanted to be. But, as time goes by and I see what makes me smile,and also what doesn't. My feelings about that have changed. I just want to be me. I just want to be the playful, silly, girlish and sometimes maybe immature person that I am.

I'm old in years, and certainly old in negative experiences. But as one therapist puts it, those experiences put marks on your life. Before and after. For me, in some ways, there never was an after or if there was it was much slower than for normal people. People who didn't have those experiences.

So yeah, I may be a number as far as age but how I feel.. who I am... is very different than that.

I'm gonna just be me now. The girl addicted to shoes. The girl who wants to hug the world. The girl who cries at sad movies and can't handle scary ones.

I want to be loved and appreciated. Doesn't everyone? But, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I'm okay just being me.

Thanks for reading.